Dark Nights Of The Soul
So many dark nights
Dark nights of the soul
Awareness creeping into my consciousness
And still I am unable to break through
So many dark days
Dark days of my life
Awareness of beauty surrounds me
And still I am unable to let it in
Lost in the abyss of the quest for enlightenment
Again
So many crusades
So many
I know what the light feels like
Euphoric, enticing, addictive
And yet I cannot break through
Yet
Stuck in a chasm of darkness
Weighted heavy
I long for release
Knowing the cycles of consciousness
I am patient and humble
For the dark nights coddle me in the lure of hedonism
I am impatient too
Grasping between the shadows and the light
What will become of me
I am so weary
This quest is killing my body, my mind and my soul
Why me?
Why now?
Trust
Try
Believe
My humility is overwhelming
How can I atone my sins
Self flagellation of my heart, my mind, my soul
I cannot breath
My body crushed with despair
My heart so heavy bearing sadness
Crying out with fear
I want to purify myself
Why can’t I be saintly? A hermit? A sanctuary?
It would be so much easier
Than integration back into the reality that pains me so much
But I know that path is mine
To travel
Alone at times
Sometimes with sinners
Sometimes with saints
For I am both light and dark
Seeking others who know they have a reason for this pain
Recognising the signs
No words are needed
It is our time
The pain a necessary curse
To lead from empathy, compassion and kindness
So I return to my now
And deal with the darkness
For I trust
That soon
The light will come
If these words have stirred something ready to move, She Is Powerful — the Empowerment collection on The Path — may be your next step. Written for women who are done playing small.
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